fluttering to discovering
When was the last time you had butterflies in your belly? I have been having them quite a bit. Despite my cloudy experience lately, I have another area of my life that just keeps fluttering. A smile just appears on my face when I think about it.
For the last 9 years, I have been living a life beyond my wildest dreams. The clouds dissipated and the sun is shining. Amazing how changing a thought can make such a difference in my attitude.
Any who, I have worked extremely hard on being the best version of myself and when I least expected it, after writing a quick note to Mother Earth that I am free to open my heart, someone walked into my life again. Even if this doesn’t turn into anything long term or serious, it is such an amazing feeling to experience the flutter again.
Have you ever had a super rough day and you find yourself with stink face? That’s when you furrow your brows and scrunch up your face. Back to the point…
Your day sucks bananas and you have serious stink face. All of a sudden you think of a special someone in your life and slowly, stink face begins to relax and you find yourself smiling! That is what I am experiencing these days. Ah, smile. Ah, the flutter. Ah, the beginning. Ah, taking it moment by moment and doing my best to stay in the moment and not project.
He brings a smile to my face. How long that will last, I haven’t a clue. My support system reminds me to just enjoy what I am experiencing today. Revel in the moments of learning about someone and embrace the flutter. I have butterflies fluttering about my belly and I really like it.
A couple weeks have passed since I wrote the above. The fluttering still tickles my belly when I think of him. Unfortunately or fortunately, Mother Earth has different plans for me. I have been discovering what I need in a relationship. I discovered it is important for me be honest and upfront no matter how uncomfortable it is for me. Working through the discomfort was quite a challenge. It didn’t subside until I opened my mouth and the words began to flow. What a refreshing experience to have a mature conversation with a man who I have come to know on a slightly deeper level.
I don’t understand this blogging thing. Who cares about my short, fun, fluttering experience with a man who struck my fancy five years ago? I do. I do not expect anyone else to. It really stinks when my belly yearns and he is just not in to me. Talk about a blast to my ego at first.
Several weeks have passed and he still pops into my head. GO AWAY! Some people teach me how I want to be, and some how I don’t want to be. I hear Your message loud and clear. It just isn’t what I want to hear. Maybe one day. Maybe not. Only Mother Earth…Spirit…Universe has the answer. For today, I will continue to turn it over and keep my heart open to what is to come. So mote it be. Not for me to decide.
